Tips for Losing Your Virginity on Your Wedding Night

Do Your Research

Now, they say nothing beats the real thing, and that is true. The only way to get awesome at sex and to really love it is to straight-up get it on. But, knowing everything there is to know without actually doing it is also important. You are not going to magically know how to do sex stuff—no one does. It’s not a reflex and it doesn’t come naturally. Read everything you can find on sex from reliable sources and learn about your anatomy. It might feel silly, but the only way to figure out how to do something is by reading about it and then doing it.

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15. It’s not true that your soul will be forever attached to the first person you have sex with

Fox / Via gleeandthejanoskians.tumblr.com Sure, you might still look back on them fondly (or not so fondly) when you’re talking to your friends 20 years from now, but you’re not going to be forever attached to this person if you don’t want to be, says Herbenick. This myth might come from the fact that many people do feel some sort of a connection to the person they lost their virginity to, but that’s more of a social construct than a guarantee.

Will I Have an Orgasm the First Time?

Again, that’s different for everyone, but rest assured you’re totally not alone if you don’t experience a first-time orgasm. In fact, most people don’t, simply thanks to all those nerves and anxiety you’ve probably built up about your first time.

9. You’re more likely to have an orgasm if you and your partner are more familiar with each other — physically and emotionally

Paramount Pictures / Via liketotallyclueless.tumblr.com Research shows you’re more likely to orgasm in a relationship than in a hookup situation — whether it’s your first time or your 50th time having sex. But losing your virginity in particular is one of those times that the right partner can make a huge difference. “One of the things that’s a good predictor of whether you’ll regret it later or whether you’ll enjoy it is who you lose your virginity with and whether that person has any sort of meaningful tie to you,” says Mark. That doesn’t mean you have to have been together for a long time or even be dating the person, but a sense of trust and comfort with this person will be very helpful.

Don’t Rush to Penetration

In that same vein, you need to focus on foreplay on your wedding night. A big mistake many of us have made our first time is rushing to the “big finish.” We know it feels like you’ve been waiting forever, but now is not the time to get hasty. Listen to what your body is telling you. Your partner, assuming they're also lacking experience, is going to need to slow down as well. Take time to kiss, lick, and touch each other’s bodies. Try oral sex before you have penetrative sex. This might be scary, but it’s worth it. If you rush into penetration, it will be painful. You want to be primed up and set to go.

Buying Condoms

Whether the guy or girl buys them, it is always a little embarrassing when you buy your first box of condoms. Try to stay chill and remember that everyone buys them. Don’t forget it’s better to be safe then sorry.

7. Not everybody bleeds

Like we mentioned earlier, it’s likely that you’ll bleed during your first time when tissue tears around your hymen. However, Planned Parenthood says that it’s also totally normal if you don’t bleed.

Dark Side of Losing Virginity Early

There should be no doubt that losing virginity at an early age comes with many risks and health infections. A study conducted in Uganda revealed that people who were having early sex developed more health issues than those had sex at the right age. This shows that parents need to be very careful when it comes to their kid.

When people have sex at an early age and lose their virginity, they experience issues like problems of sexual function, difficulty in maintaining an erection, problems of reaching orgasm, some long term effects and death in the worst cases.

During

Your first time having sex you are not exactly sure what to do. Do you look at the ceiling? Do you kiss your partner? Do you make moaning sounds? As you start to feel more accustomed to having sex this will all start to sort itself out. In the meantime, just do whats natural and don’t play things up too much.

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Penetration

  • When it finally comes time for penetration, it’s better to let her get on top and ride you cowgirl. The first time you have sex you’ll probably not really know what hole to stick it in so it’s really better to let her put it in.
  • I remember the first time I had sex, I found it a bit of a challenge to stay inside her, I kept slipping out. So unlike in porn you probably don’t want to put your whole body into your thrusting, you want to focus on small thrusting movements and moving your hips around.

The first few times you have sex, I would suggest that you just focus on enjoying yourself. You’re probably eager to show the girl a good time and bring her to orgasm. But it actually takes a lot of work to bring a woman to vaginal orgasm. I don’t think I gave a woman a vaginal orgasm until after I had been having sex for several years. So in the beginning just have fun and enjoy what you’ve worked so hard for!

2. You can change your mind at any point on the night of

Let’s set the scene: You’re passionately kissing your significant other and you’ve both decided that tonight is the night, but all of a sudden you think: You know, I don’t really want to do this right now. That is 10000000000% OK, and you have every single right to let your partner know that. People change their minds over all kinds of tiny things (like craving a burger but then actually realizing you want nuggets), so why would that be any different for something as intimate as having sex for the first time? If you’re not down, then it’s not happening, and that’s totally cool.

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Ashwagandha Spagyric Tincture by Lost Empire Herbs
Ashwagandha Spagyric Tincture by Lost Empire Herbs

It’s an adaptogenic herb that naturally regulates down the autonomic nervous system. Hardworking professionals are often plagued by bad sleep as their nervous systems are overactive when they should be winding down from a demanding day. At least 6 scientific papers identify Ashwagandha as a sleep hack.

What Does Losing Your Virginity Feel Like

A few people have pleasant memories of the first t

A few people have pleasant memories of the first time they “made love”, but most people have embarrassing, awkward, painful and uncomfortable recollections of losing their virginity (don’t worry, these make much better stories).

Losing your virginity is most likely not going to be perfect and pain-free like rom-coms would like you to believe.

The truth is that it might hurt, and you will probably be awkwardly humping away wondering if that’s what it’s always going to feel like – but there is light at the end of the tunnel because sex gets better with age and experience!

Most boys have no clue how to please women in their teenage years (some men never truly learn), but some of them will take the time to understand what makes you feel more pleasure instead of pain.

Does losing your virginity hurt? There are ways to have sex for the first time pain-free

We spoke to Sexpert Michelle Hope to see how to reduce pain during sex for everyone, but especially virgins having sex for the first time and her simple overarching advice was that comfortable sex starts with good lubrication and good communication. 

That means you need to amp up the foreplay, fellas — our expert tells us women take longer to warm up.

“When we’re talking about the most comfortable sex positions it’s not always about the position, although yes, that’s very important,” says Hope. “It’s also about lubrication and making sure you’re lubricated enough to allow the vagina to stretch because during arousal a vagina can deepen from 2 to 4 inches, so it was definitively built for things to come in and go out — so it’s more about lubrication.”

Therefore, it’s completely okay if you decide to use extra lube for your first time.

“Also, the best position is communication and rooting your sex experience in communication: what feels good and what doesn’t feel good and how do we communicate stop if we need to and set boundaries. Because that’s really a part of safe-play is actually knowing that you’re safe, which can allow the body to relax and open up the vagina, which can allow for easier penetration,” Hope continues.

RELATED: 20 Celebs Reveal The Crazy Way They Lost Their Virginity

3. How Important Is Losing Your Virginity?

“Lost my virginity at 26 to a friends-with-benefits situation. Low-key, no drama, 10/10 would recommend.” – Robin, 31

With all the stress many guys feel about losing their virginity, it can be hard to know just how important it is to do the deed.

If you’re still a virgin in your late teens, every waking moment might be filled with anxiety as you try to figure out how to swipe your V-card as soon as possible. On the flip side, you might be a 50-something-year-old virgin, content to die of old age never having had sex. How badly you want to lose it is a personal thing, but in purely objective terms, it’s kind of a made-up concept. Basically, you shouldn’t care about it too much.

“Virginity is a social construct that people decided was important hundreds of years ago. So whether it’s important to lose your virginity or not is actually up to you,” says Lords. “There’s nothing to ‘lose’ when you say ‘losing your virginity.’ There is only experiencing sex or not experiencing sex.”

Here’s one thing worth remembering: If you’ve been feeling pressured by your peers to lose it, that’s often based on outdated ideas of masculinity that you shouldn’t feel the need to bend to.

“Traditionally, […] virginity has been seen in the media and in life practices as something girls should wait to lose, and young guys should lose it as soon as possible,” says Mackenzie Riel of adult novelty and romance retailer TooTimid.com. “[But] it should be a personal decision whether or not a person wants to lose it. There is so much pressure that comes from society to one way or another, your situation will never be exactly like somebody else’s, anyway.”

Jor-El Caraballo, a relationship therapist and co-creator of Viva Wellness, also points out that the whole concept of virginity should be held in your hands, exclusively.

“The importance of ‘virginity’ is healthiest when best controlled by its holder,” he says.“Each person must decide how important virginity, and therefore sex, is to their lives. Taking in and exploring all of our messages from religion, family, school, etc. and asking ourselves tough questions about sex and desire is the healthiest thing we can do. And if you feel stuck, you can always consult with a therapist who works closely on sex- or sexuality-related issues for non-judgmental exploration of all these things.”

O’Reilly agrees that virginity (and the concept of purity associated with it) can be really confusing and a very narrow way of looking at a person.

“Virginity is a social construct,” she notes. “There was a time when we believed that being a virgin referred to not having put a penis inside of the vagina (which would suggest that tampons, fingers, sex toys, tongues, etc. wouldn’t qualify), but not everyone plans on putting a penis inside of a vagina, and even those who have done so (or plan to do so one day) classify other sexual activities as sex. If you’re a lesbian who has been having sex with your partner for 10 years, are you still a virgin?”

At the end of the day, losing your virginity really means having sex for the first time — and what that means, exactly, depends on what you’re into, whether that’s penetrating someone or being penetrated or both; whether it’s oral, or anal, or vaginal sex, or even something else.

How Do You Prevent Pregnancy?

When used effectively, condoms can be super helpful in preventing pregnancy, but many people don’t use them correctly. That’s why Dr. Jaque suggests talking with your doctor about additional birth control options. There are many different kinds, from the Pill, to the NuvaRing, to an IUD. Your doctor will help you choose the right one for you based on your medical history, the kinds of periods you have (for example, certain birth control methods can help make them less painful or heavy), and your life (if your schedule makes it hard to take a pill at the same time every day, that's probably not your best option).

You can also talk to your physician about what happens when you have sex for the first time, whether it’s right for you right now, and any other questions you have about sex that you may be too embarrassed to talk about with a family member. Topics could include practicing safe sex; signs, symptoms and prevention of STIs; contraception; and what to expect in terms of whether losing your virginity is painful.

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