How To Use Anal Fingering To Double Your Pleasure

What should I know before purchasing a butt plug?

In addition to choosing a plug with a flared base, it's important to check that your toy is body-safe. Since sex toys are sold as "novelty items," they're more or less unregulated by any federal agency, meaning it's up to you to make sure that materials are safe to put in, on, and around your genitals. Once I opened my lingerie drawer to notice that a rubber vibrator had leaked pink dye everywhere. If unsafe toys can stain my underwear, what else can they harm? As Schmit points out, "Cheaper toys might be made of chemicals that can leach into your body."

According to the Kinsey Institute, anything that's silicone, borosilicate glass (Pyrex), or stainless steel is a good bet. Schmit suggests beginners select silicone over glass or steel, as silicone has more give and is easier to insert. All three materials are nonporous and can be thoroughly cleaned after each use. Butt plugs made of hard plastics and acrylics, on the other hand, are porous, which means they can become hotbeds of bacteria from your GI tract, which is neither safe nor sexy.

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Anal Fingering for Him

Now that you’re cleaned up or your partner is ready to explore some anal fingering, what can do you. Let’s start with ideas for him.

A man’s anus is one of the most powerful erogenous zones in his body thanks to the prostate. The prostate is located around two inches inside a man’s anus, toward his stomach. You can curl your fingers during anal fingering, and curved toys work better for prostate stimulation. It feels somewhat like a walnut, and your man will likely recognize it as soon as you find it. Although, some men don’t.

The prostate responds to greater pressure than other erogenous zones. Some men like on-and-off pressure from the pad of a finger, while others will simply like the feeling of their prostate being pressed during sexual intercourse or a blowjob.

However, not every man loves prostate play, and there are other options when it comes to anal fingering to him. You can slowly work your way closer to his anus and rub around the anus and the puckered ring.  A simple in-and-out motion might be pleasurable while you’re pleasing him with your other hand or mouth, and you can add more fingers as he becomes comfortable with the sensation.

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How do I get the plug in my butt (and take it out)?

First, don't neglect foreplay. Instead of going straight for the ass, try a few other activities you enjoy, like oral, to get your body turned on and receptive to a new kind of stimulation.

Next, start with something smaller than a plug: Lube up your finger, or ask your partner if you can borrow theirs. Circle the anus with the finger, glide it gently in and out of the anus, then add another finger.

After your butt is comfortable with a couple of fingers, slather your plug in lube and slowly slide it inside you. I've found that inserting a butt plug is easiest when the receiver is bent over in doggy-style position, but everyone is shaped differently, so experiment to find out what works for you.

According to sex and relationship expert Jessica O'Reilly, the key to anal play is relaxation. As she writes in The New Sex Bible: The New Guide to Sexual Love, there are two muscle rings known as the sphincter around the entrance to the anus. You want to be gentle with them when inserting anything into your butt. "Relax, breathe deeply, and bear down slightly with your sphincter muscles as you insert [a toy] for the first time," writes O'Reilly.

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Preparing for anal fingering as the giver

The anus needs a little more care than fingering a vagina, Knight explains. ‘Although it’s perfectly safe to explore anal play, an anus isn’t designed for penetration. Therefore the lining of the anus is more delicate and susceptible to injury,’ she says. To prepare, the giving partner should always:

  1. Make sure the nails are trimmed.
  2. Remove any jewellery eg rings.

It’s also really key for the giver to check their fingers for cuts or scratches. ‘Even with proper prep, all sex involves a transfer of bacteria, and this is even more likely with anal play. You really don’t want to get anything nasty in an open wound,’ Knight says.

For safety and hygiene reasons, some people like to create a barrier between their finger and their partner’s anus by using a condom or a small latex sheath called a ‘finger cot’. Knight says it is by no means necessary to do this, but it can help ease the mind of the giver and receiver.

As well as feeling comfortable, you should both be excited and enthusiastic about exploring anal fingering.

Sex educator and expert at Tenga and Iroha Alix Fox also recommends gloves, as they can help with hygiene and make both parties feel more relaxed and confident, knowing the giver’s fingers are protected from residues, stains or smells. ‘Nitrile gloves are a great option for those with latex allergies,’ Fox says. The risk of mess with anal fingering is extremely low, especially if you follow this expert advice.

Fox adds, ‘It’s important to remember there’s nothing shameful about poo: it’s a normal, natural product of being a human being, so if you do happen to encounter a smidgen of evidence that you or your play partner are Actual Living Creatures, try not to make a big deal about it; you might like to keep baby wipes nearby.’

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Does Everyone Enjoy Anal Stimulation?

Let’s start by getting this out of the way. Anal stimulation isn’t for everyone whether it’s fingering, a penis, playing with a safe toy or even just stimulating around the anus. Many men are worried that liking anal play means they’re gay. It doesn’t. Gay, straight and bisexual men are all equipped with nerve endings and prostates that allow them to enjoy anal stimulation of all types. Sexuality may differ, but biology doesn’t.

Learn more about prostate massage.

Secondly, it’s often more common for women to be on the receiving end than men. This works for many couples. However, you may simply not be into the idea of anal play. Nevertheless, you won’t know if you might like it unless you try it, so we suggest you give anal fingering a try!

Anal Fingering How To:

Start by exploring your partner’s body all over, making sure you’re both super turned on. Before you insert a finger into your partner’s anus, bring attention to the area and get warmed up by giving your partner an anal massage. Once you’re ready, try some of these techniques for anal fingering!

What About Men?

Anal fingering isn’t just for the ladies. Men, too, can derive pleasure from anal play with their partner.

The techniques below can be used by both men and w

The techniques below can be used by both men and women on men or women. As long as there are two willing participants, you can use the techniques for hours and hours of fun.

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Now let’s get into how you should prepare for anal fingering properly, and then we’ll move onto some naughty techniques!

Anal fingering and sex toys

If you’ve comfortably followed Fox’s anal fingering technique for first timers and want to try something new, for a low-anxiety but highly pleasurable method, you might enjoy using a sex toy. There are plenty of anal appropriate sex toys available on the market designed specifically for this purpose. Fox recommends the Iroha Midori vibrator.

Invite your partner to push back rather than pushing your finger into them so they feel more in control.

‘Hold the marshmallow-soft, rechargeable vibrator in the palm of your hand, so the vibrations travel along your finger as your stroke outside and inside your partner’s tush,’ she says. ‘Invite your partner to push back against you rather than pushing your finger into them to help them feel more in control.’

What to Do While Anal Fingering

Get in position

There are two traditional positions ideal for anal fingering. The first is when you’re on our stomach in a starfish or doggie-like position. The second is when you’re on your back with your legs up in the air.

“I recommend positions [like these] that give you or your partner a clear view of the hole,” Goldstein says. “If you can see it—and I mean all of it—then you have a better chance of understanding the angles and anatomy to make the experience most pleasurable.” It’s also easier for the top to finger from these positions without uncomfortably bending their wrist.

Use thick lube

Lube is not optional when it comes to anal fingering. It’s mandatory, and no, spit does not cut it. You specifically want “long-lasting lubes like silicone-based or oil-based lubes,” Matatas says. Water-based lubes tend to dry out too quickly with anal play because the anus is not self-lubricating like the vagina is. You want to put lube both on your finger(s) and directly on and around the anus, Goldstein adds. Reapply lube generously and frequently as needed.

Start with external anal play

“The most common issue that can happen with anal fingering is tearing, otherwise known as anal fissures,” Goldstein says. This can happen when you thrust or insert too much too quickly. That’s why, before even starting with a finger, you should massage the external anus “as if you’re petting the butthole,” Matatas says. This helps the anal muscles relax.

Go slowly with digital penetration

After you’ve teased their hole with external play, you can insert a finger before eventually working your way up to two or more (if you ever reach that point). “Always be aware of your limitations,” Goldstein says. “No one is counting how many fingers you can take up your bum.”

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Whatever you do, don’t start by quickly thrusting in and out. Instead, begin by inserting a third of your finger, then half, and then all of it. Once your finger is fully inside, let it rest there for a little without any movement. Let the anus get used to the sensation of having something inside of it.

Focus less on the “in and out”

“The anus doesn’t only get pleasure from depth, so try moving your finger so you’re massaging the sides of the anus in a horizontal motion,” Matatas says. And remember, the prostate is two to three inches inside your anus. That’s the money maker and what feels really good when stimulated. So you want to focus on that part of the region when fingering or getting fingered.

“Fingerplay should be more about gentle massaging, which will create better nerve stimulation in that region,” Goldstein adds. “The skin in this region is quite thin, so any jerky or sudden moves can cause significant tearing and trauma.” So really, you want massage as oppose to thrust.

Communicate with your partner

Both Goldstein and Matatas make clear that there should be an open line of communication for the entire experience. If you’re the top, ask your partner if what you’re doing feels good. If you’re the bottom, don’t be afraid to tell your partner to reapply more lube or go slower. With anal fingering, as with any new sexual experience, communication is crucial.

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