Content of the material
- 7. Praise Peoples Strengths
- 5) You have horrible hygiene
- 10) Youre really bad with money
- Body practice for the mind
- Laying Blame
- Why Dont People Like Me? 21 Reasons and Solutions
- 11 Peculiar Reasons Why People Don’t Like You
- Some other signs of why people don’t like you
- What do you do?
- How to not care if people like you or not!
- Believing and acting
- 15. See The Good In People
When I was a young teenager, if you didn’t smoke, you weren’t considered to be “cool”.
Today, just the opposite is true.
Smoking is considered by many to be a vile, filthy habit that is also unhealthy to all who are subjected to its toxins. When I smoked, I never realized how bad it made me smell, or the disgusting odors it brought into the homes of the people I visited. Once I stopped, I became very aware of these issues. Not only that, I had learned about the dangers of second and third-hand smoke, so it became very important in my mind to steer clear of anybody who had this habit.
I didn’t want them in my home stinking up my furniture or polluting my air. Nor did I want to visit them and have to tolerate those same things. There are many people these days who feel as I do. As a result, someone can be the nicest person, hardest worker and kindest-hearted human being on earth, but his or her habit will push others away.
Their habit will keep them from getting good jobs because they carry smoke odors on their clothing and belongings and likely will turn off potential customers. Quitting is very difficult to do, but those who want to improve their relationships and their job opportunities would do well to throw their smokes away.
If they do, they might find that they have better relationships, will feel better and likely will become candidates for higher-paying jobs.
7. Praise Peoples Strengths
One way to bring the best out of someone is to praise their strengths. Could you imagine how you would respond if someone came up to you and said, “Just so you know, your ability to [insert strength] is incredible. I wish I was more like that.”? Giving praise to someone else is a sign of confidence on your part, and a tremendous confidence builder for the other person.
5) You have horrible hygiene
While it may seem like a superficial issue, it’s probably just as important (if not more so) than the other issues on this list.
Ask yourself: would you want to be around someone who smells or just looks dirty or unkempt all the time?
Not only would it affect your ability to enjoy your time with that person, but it would also feel embarrassing just to be around someone who takes so little care of themselves.
How to change for the better: Wash yourself. Buy new clothes, or at least wash the clothes you already have.
Use personal hygiene products like soap, shampoo, deodorant, and don’t leave the house again without cleaning yourself.
The truth is that it’s just time to grow up.
As an adult, you should have the conscious care for your own appearance and smell, and you should know that the way you present yourself to the outside world is a reflection of who you are.
Even if you have the best personality, no one wants to be around a person who stinks, especially when they have to sit next to you for extended periods of time.
10) Youre really bad with money
You’ve spent your life grinding and you feel like you’re entitled to the finer things in life.
When you’re out with friends, you wonder why you’re going to the same shabby restaurant or why they never seem to take you on your invitations to go to Monaco or Paris in favor of a southeast Asia backpacking trip.
To you this is just about spending the money you rightfully earned, but to them it might be something else entirely.
You might be acting like a snob and looking down on their preference when that’s all they can afford.
Without knowing it, you might be making people feel bad for something they have no immediate control over.
The same can be said about being an absolute cheapskate. No one wants to be with someone who’s always looking for the cheapest bargain.
When friends want to shell out a couple of dollars for a better restaurant experience or a better trip, you might be the only person holding everyone back.
How to change for the better: Either be prepared to meet people halfway or just avoid trips altogether.
Instead of being the one bummer that changes everyone’s plans, you can join activities you know you can enjoy, regardless of how you spend your money.
Body practice for the mind
So what else can you do to learn and overcome your limiting beliefs? And your limited social experience. Study body language! Learn what is good – and what is bad. What conveys closed of behavior, what defensive or aggressive? How are people excited and happy? Or shy and timid? See it! Hear their tones, not their words. Know what is up.
And for that matter, pay attention to your own. How do you stand when you feel down, or when you feel up? That’s right, you hunch down, or you stand up right. So how about standing straight if you feel down, walk with confident trod? Does it make you feel better? Experiment with how posture/ body language is affected by mood and vice versa.
Experiment and have fun.
Furthermore – nothing gets you liked, or at least respected, more than making eye contact. Feel like someone doesn’t respect you for no reason – make eye contact. Meet their gaze – see how you connect (or not). Having a hard time? That little triangle between eyes and nose is a great point to focus on. Or switch watching from one eye to the other, until you are used to it.
You will better see how people feel about you. At the same time, you convey your own feelings as well.
For bonus, smile as you see people! Make it your responsibility to give the positivity first – and it will be reciprocated so often! As you feel the other person likes you, have fun, and see how you brighten their day.
So why all these body language tips? These seem like little tricks that fool yourself and others. Well, this is a huge chunk of social communication. That elusive layer that you don’t seem to get.
It has become common in recent years for people to refuse to accept responsibilities for their behaviors.
No matter what they say or do, if a problem is the result, they find a way to blame someone else.
- If they drank too much at the party, the host should not have spiked the punch.
- If they lost their job, it was because their boss didn’t like them.
- If they become involved in an accident, it’s always the other guy’s fault.
Despite the fact that acting this way is a commonplace behavior, if you are doing this you should be aware that you are causing people to lose respect for you and also to question your credibility.
Furthermore, you are avoiding the causes of the problems you are creating in your life, many of which negatively affect the other people around you.
When you become a “finger pointer”, you make people wonder when you’ll start blaming them for your problems.
They’ve got enough of their own and certainly don’t need to take ownership of yours.
A perfect example of this is the new President of our condo’s board of directors. She consistently vents at meetings about how all of the 47 years worth of previous boards “got it wrong” and how she is the only person who knows enough to fix community problems.
What she does not realize is that there still are people in meetings who sat on those boards and that these people have friends sitting beside them. They may not say anything when the President makes comments like the ones noted above, but they resent and dislike her for doing so.
Thus, when it comes time to vote on an issue, they are much more likely to vote against what she wants. They also are not going to attend her parties or let her into their homes. She’s not a person they like because she has insulated and demeaned them, things that are never good to do if you want to be popular with people!
Why Dont People Like Me? 21 Reasons and Solutions
When you’ve just been brushed off or excluded from something, it’s tempting to ask, “Why doesn’t anyone like me?”
You feel like an outcast, and you don’t understand why it seems no one wants you around.
When you look deeper, though, you can probably think of at least one person who likes you, even if you don’t hang out on a regular basis.
Think about that person (or persons) when you ask, “What do people like about me?”
Make a list and keep it handy while you look through the reasons and solutions below. You’ll see them divided into two sets: those you can work on and those you can’t control.
Because sometimes, people dislike you for reasons that are more about them.
11 Peculiar Reasons Why People Don’t Like You
There’s a great Rumi quote that goes something like this:
“What you see in me is a reflection of you”
That’s a pretty powerful statement. Oddly enough, it offends so many people, and yes even yours truly. What do you mean I’m a reflection of you? That can’t be.
Well ya, it can be. We just don’t see it. We only see what we want to see. Not only that, many of us haven’t healed from our past traumas so we can be triggers for others. That actually happens to me a lot and I thought I was healed.
Nope. Apparently I’m not.
Which brings us to reason #1 why people don’t like you
1 You trigger something in them
It could be a memory of an ex girlfriend/boyfriend or maybe you even look like a family member they don’t get along with anymore. Every time they see you, it brings back memories and not good ones.
You see how this has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. There isn’t anything you can do to change this until they heal from their trauma.
It’s completely out of your hands and you’ll just have to accept the fact that you are a trigger.
2 They’re jealous of you
This one is kinda sad actually. I also used to be that person who was jealous of anyone who was prettier, smarter, more popular, richer, you name it, I was jealous.
Jealousy is very ugly.
Some of the reasons people may be jealous of you may even surprise you. I know some people are jealous of me because they think I’m so brave and ballsy. I’m not really. I’m just determined and willing to try new things.
3 You intimidate them
Oy. I get this a lot. People are honestly secretly intimidated by you if you are successful or confident. So many of us have no self confidence and when they see a person who oozes in self confidence, it intimidates them.
They sometimes mistake confidence for cockiness, unfortunately and they will think you are too big for your britches. Just keep on shining. They’ll figure it out eventually and find their own self confidence one day.
Or not. It’s not your problem.
4 You’re too damn happy
Sheesh. Do you have to be so happy all the time? Seriously!
Someone once told me I was phony. “No one can be that happy all the time”. Says who? You? Yes I can be this happy all the time and if I’m ever not happy or sad, I just stay home. Period.
They think you’re faking it. They are also jealous (there’s that word again) that your life is so wonderful that it makes you so happy. They hate that. They hate you for it.
Let it go. Again. Not your problem.
5 You’re too outspoken
Stop being so vocal already will ya? You got a voice and you know how to use it. You don’t put up with anyone’s crap. Ever.
Many people don’t really like this, especially bullies and narcissists. How dare you talk back to them? Some people just want us to be ‘yes’ people and when we aren’t, oy, feathers get ruffled.
Keep using your voice and stand up for what you believe in. No matter what it is.
6 You’re so negative
I gotta tell you, I used to be Negative Nancy all the time. My whole life was a disaster and I would whine and complain about it to anyone who would listen. I’m not sure how I still have these friends to this day.
Nowadays, if you are whining and complaining I’ll either help you try to find something positive in your situation or if that doesn’t work, I’ll just walk away.
No one wants to hear it Felicia. Can you just try to be grateful for what you have?
7 Your voice is annoying
Ya sorry. You ever run into some people whose voice is irritating af? I did recently and decided that I simply can’t be around this person. A trigger? Honestly I’m not sure but I just can’t handle listening to this person talk. I know pathetic, right? But I’m being honest here.
Some of us just have those voices.
And the sad part about that is there is nothing you can do about it. It’s just you. Don’t worry though. There are others who may absolutely love your voice. Go be with them instead.
8 You’re so clingy
Like in my personal space kinda clingy. There is thing called ‘personal space’. I believe it’s two feet in either direction of our bodies. We only let a small handful of people into this space.
Clearly you may not be one of them.
It makes us extremely uncomfortable when people get into our personal space. We almost feel violated. If you happen to be one of these clingy type people, maybe try and stand back a foot. It might help.
9 You’re constantly interrupting conversations
Ughhhhh!! I have to tell you, this is probably one of the most annoying things to me ever. When someone doesn’t let you talk or finish a story because they are constantly interrupting with a story of their own. Trying to outshine you, if you will.
I used to be one of those people until I ran into people like that and was disgusted with myself. I’ve since learned to let people finish their story.
Now when someone interrupts me I ask them to please let me finish my story first. It’s very effective. It goes back to that whole find and use your voice thing. It works.
Let people finish their stories please. You will have your turn to talk.
10 You’re too successful
Shame on you for reaching and smashing your goals. Oy.
But honestly, success can seriously put some people off. They secretly loathe you because of your success. So many of us have dreams but are too scared to do anything to actually realize them. Clearly you aren’t scared and you succeeded.
People don’t like that. They want you to stay in the scared box with them.
11 You’re self absorbed
It’s always about you. What you did, how high you jumped, how big your house is, how new your car is, how great your husband/wife is. You get the point.
You are constantly trying to show off everything in your life and make it sound like it’s all so amazing and how great everything is. But, you never ask anyone how they are doing or you show no interest in anyone else.
It’s always about you and only you.
It’s boring Susan and so are you. Can you step down off your pedestal for one minute and connect with the world around you and the people in it?
No one wants to be around someone who just talks about themselves all the time. I sure don’t.
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Some other signs of why people don’t like you
So those were only 11 signs people don’t like you but I guarantee there are a million more. It could be your body odor, the amount of cologne you were or maybe that you gossip about or judge people.
It also could be the way you dress or the tattoos you have or your hair. Oh ya. People have some peculiar reasons not to like you.
And you will know without a doubt if someone doesn’t like you. They will either walk away when they see you coming or just ignore you if you are in a group of people.
What do you do?
Nothing. Just accept it as it is. You aren’t a jar of Nutella, not everyone is going to love you. I get that it’s frustrating, annoying or even hurtful when people don’t like you. Sometimes it can actually be kinda confusing too!
But remember, most of the reasons why people don’t like you has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. It’s not up to you to change so people will like you.
Unless some of your traits are quite toxic and negative and changing would be a very good thing. You should look into that. I did.
How to not care if people like you or not!
I struggled with this a lot. It used to make me so sad that some people didn’t like me. Today? Meh. I could not care less to be honest.
When you keep in mind that them not liking you has nothing to do with you it really makes it that much easier to deal with. You have to remind yourself that you are awesome just the way you are (unless you’re not and you’re toxic then you need to look into changing that).
When you care how people feel about you, you are giving them your power. They are now controlling your life and you don’t even realize it. This is your life.
Take back your power and stop caring what people think of you or if they like you or not. YOU like YOU. That’s all that matters.
Believing and acting
So what to do? How do you change that deep belief? By trying really hard to believe in something else? Mantras? Maybe. But I would suggest start acting differently, despite your beliefs. That means, invest in yourself and take care of yourself even if it makes you uncomfortable.
You act your way into believing.
And believe your way into acting.
Think about this:
So how would you treat yourself if people liked you? If you liked yourself? How would others treat you? How would you carry yourself? Would you treat yourself right? Yes! – so work out, eat healthy, sleep well. Don’t spend your time indulging on Youtube and Reddit everyday; go out and do something!
Start doing that – act like you would esteem yourself highly!
Taking good care of yourself will create a positive momentum that spills over into your inner life and social life. It’s not about faking that you like yourself; it’s about investing in yourself long enough that you actually start liking and respecting yourself.
15. See The Good In People
Develop the skill to see the good in others. It’s human nature to put others down in order to make ourselves feel better; but be that person who can spot the diamond in the rough; especially when they can’t see it themselves.
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