Reader Success Stories
Jenny Huang Jul 15, 2016
“This is a great passage. I am undergoing a very confused time. This passage taught me a lot. Sex seems so wonderful. Now I think I’m more prepared than before. In China, we don’t get this kind of sex education. All we got was two drawn pictures and I still didn’t understand! Hope you guys can keep going on and tell us more about our body and sex. Thanks.” …” more
Next time you are having a not boring conversation in person with someone, nonchalantly pull out your smartphone (as people do quite frequently nowadays). Launch the app and record the conversation, if you have the Evernote widget installed it literally takes about 3 seconds to open a voice note recording the conversation. Place your phone on the table between you and the other person. At first, you may feel a little weird since the other person won’t know the conversation is being recorded. I’m not a lawyer but I’m pretty sure that provided you aren’t using the recording for commercial purposes, this is legal.
You might be thinking…
I can totally see how these motivational factors were missing in my past attempts to lose my virginity. So I’ll have my best friend, wingman, roommate or family member be my accountability partner, maybe I’ll even make a bet with them that I need to lose my virginity or else I need to pay them some amount of money so I get sunk cost working for me…
Well, that might work. But, it’s generally a pretty bad idea to have your friends or family as your accountability partner for a few reasons…
- If they care about you they will usually enthusiastically agree at first. But often they quickly lose interest. Your loved ones want the best for you but they have their own lives and responsibilities. Also, this coaching is work, it is a service. If you’re not paying them for their time and attention how can you expect them to be committed?
- Accountability entails real pressure. It’s not always pleasant and it certainly introduces a degree of friction. It’s not really fair to assail the tranquility of your most important relationships with this sometimes confrontational requirement of accountability.
- Meaningfully overcoming your virginity is going to require some very red pill mindsets and yielding some social dynamics lifehacks from the fringes of polite society. Your friends and family may really frown upon what’s actually going to work to get you beyond this. Along with accountability, they’ll give you crappy, mainstream socially conditioned advice — just be yourself, just be confident, don’t try so hard, follow your heart, be a gentleman and you’ll naturally lose your virginity — that won’t really help you.
- Finally, there’s this very well studied psychological phenomenon that if you talk about your goals to your friends and family it demotivates you from actually accomplishing them. The emotional pleasure of telling other people about your goal is so intoxicating that it demotivates you. Do you actually want to lose your virginity or do you just want to talk about it?
If you’re serious about this, hire a professional coach to keep you accountable. Your friends and family will respect you a lot more if they see you independently taking action and changing your life.